Friday, March 8, 2024

Grandma Marge...Goodbye

 Grandma Marge passed away on February 13, 2024. I knew this day was coming since a week prior to Christmas I was informed that my grandma was diagnosed with acute leukemia and she had anywhere from weeks to one year to live. I was shocked! My grandma was pretty healthy and on the outside she looked 10 years younger than she actually was. She was a very youthful grandma and this news was shocking. 


I visited her when we were back at Christmas and she was tired, but still seemed to be doing well. Or at least that's how she presented herself. I also video chatted with her about one week prior to her passing and I got off that call thinking how great she looked and sounded. I thought maybe she will make it until the Summer or even possibly through another Christmas. Either way I knew that if that was the last time I talked with her that it was ok because we had a great talk and we laughed a lot.



That did not prepare me for the text message I woke up to on February 13th stating grandma was in the ER not doing well. Followed by another text that grandma is heading to the ICU and will probably not make it through the day. Then another text stating grandma was being intubated. Then the final text that grandma had passed away. Now, all of these texts started at 6:30am and ended at 9:45am. It happened quickly! Even though I knew grandma was sick and going to pass away in 2024 I did not expect it to be so quickly. 


Even though I didn't expect her to pass so quickly I also knew she was ready. We talked about it a couple of times and she really didn't want the treatment that she was going through and she valued quality of life over quantity. Knowing that she was ready gave me comfort in her passing; however, the comfort didn't make the sadness and pain go away.


I flew back to Madison for a couple of days to attend the visitation and funeral. Andy could not come because he had to take care of Sammy due to her surgery. Max decided that he didn't want to come because he didn't think he was ready to go to a funeral. While I was there I helped my cousins prepare the photo boards that would be displayed at the funeral service. This day was filled with a lot of memories, laughter and of course tears. It was nice to hang out with my cousins and Tayler too. Due to the emotional roller coaster of that day I had a major headache and tried to take a nap only to wake up to it snowing. Only in Wisconsin!




I woke up anxious on that Saturday morning for the day I had been dreading...the funeral. I knew this was going to be a tough day. It was going to be extremely hard to say goodbye to such a sweet grandma who made an impact on my life. I arrived at the church with my parents and the other siblings (my aunts and uncles) prior to the public. I took one look over at the casket and knew I wasn't ready to see her so I kept my distance. Instead I chatted with guests and shed a few tears. I received my instructions as a pallbearer so that I was prepared for my duties. Then it was time to approach the casket and say my goodbyes before they closed it. I walked toward the casket not aware of anyone else in the room. I just knew I had to do something that was going to crush me. I broke as soon as I reached the casket and looked in. The full on ugly cry came out of me. I am talking the uncontrollable crying that I had been holding in for two weeks. Then I was consoled by a couple of people as I said goodbye to my grandma. I will say that was extremely hard and emotional. 



We headed to the cemetery and I, along with seven other cousins, carried the casket from the hearse to the burial site. This was my first time being a pallbearer and I quickly found out how heavy the casket actually is. I took a rose from her casket and I am having it made into a necklace and earrings from Lacy Creations. This is a great company that turns flower petals into jewelry so you will have the memory with you always.



We headed back to the church for some lunch in the basement. This is where we laughed and joked around a lot before the cousins all headed to the bar for more laughter and good times talking about grandma. Following the bar we picked up food and wine from the grocery store and headed over to my aunt's and uncle's house for more socializing. We ended up playing the game "My Big Fat Family" and everyone seemed to enjoy it as we continued to laugh. We all agreed that Grandma Marge would have enjoyed playing that game too. I know she was enjoying us all together having a good time.





She was quite the lady. I have many great memories of her. My oldest one is where I was probably seven years old and she let me taste her black coffee (only because I begged her) and how nasty I thought it tasted. I truly think that's the reason I still don't like the taste of coffee. I remember visiting all the time at her house on Columbus St and she had the old green/blue shag carpet. I also got the privilege of living with her for one year when I was 21. I was worried that she would be parenting me and telling me what to do, but it ended up being the best year ever. It was so great to come home everyday after work to dinner on the table. She always made my dinner with a side salad where she shaved the carrots directly into my bowl. We would sit and talk for hours after dinner. She even spilled a family secret or two. She tried to do my laundry but I wouldn't let her. She would bake me cookies and banana bread because she knew they were my favorite. She would joke about my underwear choices and my swimsuit selection. That's the thing about grandma Marge she was always joking around and laughing. That's how I remember her. She would entertain me during my commute for ten years when we lived in North Phoenix. I would call her at least once a week on my way home and she would give me the scoop on what everyone in the family is up to. I would know all the gossip and what everyone was up to even though I lived so far away. 



One thing that I will never forget is how Grandma Marge laughed a lot. Her and I would always tell stories and we would both be rolling laughing. I can hear her laughing right now. She will be missed greatly by me and the rest of the family who loved her dearly. I know she is up in heaven with my grandpa who passed away at a young age of 58 with a brain tumor. I also know she is watching over me and everyone else in my large extended family. 



Max is truly blessed to have gotten to know Grandma Marge over the years. He will miss her and was very said to learn she had acute leukemia and then again when she passed. He asked me why she had to get leukemia and I answered all his questions regarding funerals before he made the decision that he wasn't ready for such a sad occasion. 



Rest in piece grandma...you will be greatly missed!





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