33 Week Gestational Age

Maxim has had some high points lately, but we ended the week on a low that caused me to break down in tears.

Positive
We ended the week at 4 pounds 1 ounce and that is something to celebrate.  It's great that he continues to feed and grow.  I feel when I look at him now that he is much bigger than even a week ago.  He definitely looks longer.

Last week he started showing signs of wanting a nipple so on Friday night the nurse suggested we do a non-nutritional breast feed while he gets fed through a tube so he can associate breast feeding with eating.  For a non-nutritional breast feed I had to pump completely empty and then position him up to the nipple and let him do what he wants to do.  If he was ready he would go for the nipple, but if not that's ok too as it can take a few tries.  Mr. Maxim latched on immediately.  I was super excited for this progress that I didn't even care that it hurt like hell.  The nurse informed me that this could happen since he was figuring things out and doesn't know the breast is for feeding.  Once he actually eats then she said it won't be painful. Either way I was just so happy I didn't even care.

On Saturday it was time for Mr. Maxim to get a swaddle bath and Andy and I got to give it to him since we watched the hospital's instructional video.  I was pretty excited to do this.  The usual fussy little guy actual didn't mind the swaddle bath.  Since this was our first one the nurse helped me and Andy took photos.  This bath time was special and I felt like it was another little success that I was celebrating inside.

On Saturday morning Andy got to the hospital and found out that Maxim was able to regulate his temperature enough that they moved him from the isolette to a crib.  I was so excited I couldn't wait to get to the hospital to see this and celebrate another little step forward. 

Slight Set Back
One thing you are told from day one in the NICU is that all babies take two steps forward and one step back.  From the first time I heard this I thought no way my baby will be like that. He will only take steps forward because he is so strong.  I felt my first real set back today and it was extremely difficult.  I know I just have to remind myself of all the positives and it's just one step back that all babies do.

He had quite a few of apnea and brady episodes on Saturday night that they called us at 10pm to inform us Maxim will be put on oxygen for 24 hours to see if this helps.  If it does they will wean him off.  Today I got to the hospital for his 2pm cares and I was so excited to see him and hold him.  Minutes after I arrived this very excited mom was completely let down as Maxim started up the "A's and B's" again.  The nurse said he had been great all day and was surprised he was starting this again.  I changed his diaper and there was also a tinge of blood in it, so of course the hospital takes all precautions going forward to make sure he is ok and not sick.  He has all the tests done to find out that everything is clear.  Once again the infection or virus could be so early that it's not showing up.  They are going to put him on antibiotics again for 48 hours.  Since everything came back negative they said he could be allergic to milk protein so they stopped all of his food for 48 hours and put him on an IV of fluids.  When they start his food back up in 48 hours and he has problems again then it's an allergic reaction.  The nurse said it could also be a fissure in his rectum, but there is no way to find out if that's the case.  They have to try everything else and a fissure is a process of elimination.  Great! Due to this they moved him from the crib to a bed with a heater above since they didn't want him dressed so they could watch his stomach.  At this point I am handling this well.  I am thinking it's just a bump in the road and everything will be ok. I go to pump and while pumping Andy informs me they are moving him from Pod B to Pod C.  I immediately lost it.  One of the nurses previously told us the pods are ranked and the higher to Pod A they better your baby is.  I felt like this was a HUGE step back that we were dropping down the line.  Andy said it's for the better because there are two nurses in Pod C so he will get more attention than he is in Pod B.  Andy is much stronger than I because that is so not how I took it.

Max in is new bed with a heat lamp above him and his oxygen to his nose.

I am really trying to find the silver lining in all of this, but it's just so hard.  Especially since we were knocked down on the room of pods.  I know we will only go back up and will not get knocked down the line further than Pod C.  Here's to another week in the NICU and another week closer to going home.