One Month Old

Today Maxim is one month old.  I can't believe I survived a full month of him being in the NICU...ok, let's be honest, I barely survived.  This is not how I pictured spending the first month of his life with him.  Peeking through a plastic box, monitoring his temperatures, celebrating poops, crying a lot because I miss him and spending two hours a night on week nights with him.  That is definitely not how I pictured the first month going.  I also did not envision the first month photo to be taken in the hospital.  It kills me that this is how it is.  I have done the best that I can to find silver linings in all of this, but it's been difficult.  The positive about today is that I am able to take a picture of him and he is healthy.  Today he weighs it at 5 pounds 4 ounces. When I looked at him today I thought he was huge.

Maxim, your first month in this world has been a rough one on both you and mommy and daddy.  You entered way earlier than expected, but for someone 10 weeks early you are extremely strong and doing very well.  You should have been on oxygen assistance when you were born, but you did not need it.  Your lungs were strong and you were breathing on your own.  You weighed a whopping 3lb 6oz and were a long 16 inches.  You came out looking exactly like your daddy.  Some days I can see myself in you and your grandpa Jeff, but 90% of the time it is all your father.  I am assuming you are going to be tall just like your daddy as your limbs go on forever.  When you were born you were quite crabby and did not want to be touched at all.  If anybody tried to move you or change your diaper you screamed.  I thought your little screams were so cute.  Once you started to get your belly full of food you turned into a very mellow baby.  Just like your mommy and daddy.  You did get a minor infection this month, but after a week of antibiotics you were all cleared up.  You have turned into a feed and grow baby this month and we are just waiting for you to learn some basics, that you would have learned in the womb, before you can come home.

This was discharge day...the hardest day of my life!

In your isolette before you got moved to a big boy crib.

When you do get upset your pacifier calms you down and if that does not do it the nurse will give you a little sucrose...yes, sugar.  You love that and it calms you in a second.  Now that you are a much bigger boy you do not get the sucrose like you did when you were first born since you have been able to manage your temper.  You do love the pacifier though and you love to hold it in your mouth.

You love the pacifier.

Since we don't get a lot of time with you I do cherish the time we do have together.  I don't mind diaper changes as I actually enjoy doing it.  It's just one small thing that makes me feel like your mother.  Your dad and I got to give you two swaddle baths this month and you just loved them.  It must have reminded you of the womb.  As scared as I was to give your tiny self a bath, I enjoyed every second of bath time.  My favorite thing to do with you is the kangaroo hold.  I could do that for hours and every time we do it you fall asleep instantly.  Sometimes you are so zonked out that your monitor goes off because you forget to breathe.  Early on in the month this happened quite a bit that I would have to put you back to bed.

You fit snug as a bug in a rug in my tank top.

Your first swaddle bath.

For such a teeny tiny baby you sure can fart loud and produce a LOT of poop.  Your farts crack me up as they are so loud and you like to make faces while you do it.  I have been shocked at how much you poop.  I have had two blow outs from you after your week on antibiotics and let me tell you, it was both gross and funny at the same time. 

You like to grunt a lot.  You grunt all the time in your sleep and when you are awake.  The nurses say this is you talking.  This is how babies talk by grunting.  If that is the case you are going to be one chatty cathy when you get older as you nonstop grunt when we are there.

You do not like your arms tucked in when you sleep.  You like your arms out and above your head.  If the nurse swaddles you with your arms tucked in you will grunt and wiggle them out and put them above your head.  This is too funny as this is how I sleep at night and daddy has always made fun of me.  The nurses think it's a little weird too, but I don't as I understand you.

Sleeping like mommy.

You started to smile about a week and a half ago.  You like to smile when I am holding you and when I talk to you.  That makes me happy as I feel like you know I am your mommy and that I am there to see you.  Sometimes it's hard and I wonder if you know who your mommy and daddy is, but since you smile when we talk to you I am pretty confident that you know who your parents are.

Such a little smiler.

During your last week this month we have been teaching you how to suck, swallow and breath so you can start eating on your own instead of via a tube through your nose.  This is a big activity that will allow you to come home so I get pretty excited as I see you progress.  The first time we gave you the nipple you made faces and were unsure of what to do. As you are slowly progressing you are starting to figure it out. I look forward to the day when you can take a full feed from a nipple.  We are working on both bottle and breast feeding as that is what it will be like for you when you get home. 

Learning how to suck on a nipple.

This first month with you has been an emotional roller coaster and definitely not how I envisioned our first month together.  I am just truly happy to have you and I enjoy the time we do get to spend together.  I cannot wait until the day you get to come home.

Love your mommy!