My neighbor at work has been married for more than ten years and for the past many months he has been making me think that being married is unbelievably lame and just downright boring. He calls his wife at least twice a day and each phone call is on speaker phone blaring up and down the hallway. I don’t get why his wife has conversations with him while he is on speakerphone so that everyone can hear how lame their marriage is. Anyway, here is an example of their daily conversation.
Husband: “Hey, what are you doing?”
Wifey: “Nothing.”
Husband: “What did you eat for lunch?”
Wifey: “A sandwich.”
Husband: “What was on your sandwich?”
Wifey: “Turkey, lettuce and some mayo.”
Husband: “I had a sandwich too.”
Wifey: “What was on your sandwich?”
Husband: “Turkey and mayo.”
Wifey: “So, we both had a sandwich.”
Husband: “Now what are you doing?”
Wifey: “Nothing.”
I swear this is their daily conversation; however, you need to say it at a snail’s pace and then it will be more like what I hear every day. I just laugh my butt off throughout the five minute conversation. It did get me thinking though that this is what marriage is like. Is this really what marriage is like? If so I don’t know if I want to sign up for marriage, but I guess marriage is what you make of it. I don’t know if I could allow myself to get so boring as to reduce myself to sandwich talk. I don’t even ask Andy now about his lunch. I have no idea what he eats for lunch and I am ok with not knowing. I guess when I do get married I swear I will not raise the white flag to sandwich talk.
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